How Meditation Will Make You A Better Stepmom
Being a parent is so fulfilling and wonderful yet there are moments, days, and months even that are nowhere near picture perfect. Today let’s talk about the days where you wonder why you even had kids in the first place. Being a stepmother on top of a being a mother just adds more fuel to the fire to create some less than ideal days! We all have days where things are so busy and hectic. As a stepmom, you are responsible for all your kids, your stepkids, your spouse, your self, your house…the list goes on.
On the chaotic days where it seems that the noise won’t stop and time won’t slow down, how do you manage to make proper parenting choices? If you have a child throwing an outrageously loud temper tantrum and you feel at the end of your rope, how do you make good choices without letting your temper get the best of you?
We have some tips that will help you find a little peace throughout your day.
What Is Mediation?
To “meditate” is to engage in contemplation or reflection. It truly is a ‘quieting of the mind’. Meditation can be a window to a calmer soul.
Now if you are anything like me, you may be thinking meditation is this unattainable idea that you can only achieve if you follow the steps in “Eat, Pray, Love” but it's a lot more simple than you think! Believe me when I say there is no right or wrong way to meditate. If you have been feeling stressed, tired, rushed, short on time then you owe it to yourself to take a step back and work on yourself. The last thing you need as the matriarch of your family is to suffer from stress-related health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease.
Research shows that regular meditation makes people physically healthier, more productive, less depressed, less anxious and more confident! Sounds pretty great right? When you meditate you reduce the release of stress hormones and increase the release of endorphins.
The result is your pulse slows, your blood pressure decreases and you are able to clear your mind!
What Are The Benefits?
This may be the biggest benefit of meditation. When your stepkids aren’t listening to you, you may feel like flying off the handle. Patience is what is going to help you reign that in. Instead of overreacting maybe in a way that you will regret later, meditation will grow your ability to control your emotions. We’ve all been in a situation where you have zero patience left and react in the opposite way than you normally would. They do say that patience is a virtue right?
Sometimes I feel like if everyone had a little bit more compassion for one another the world would be a better place. One big thing in terms of compassion would be towards the other parent you are dealing with. More specifically if you have to deal with the biological mother. You may not always understand one another or agree with one another but if you can come from a place of compassion then things will work out a lot easier. Compassion also works towards yourself. It’s really easy to be hard on yourself and pick apart how you disciplined or handled certain situations but you need to allow yourself more compassion.
Be More Present
This is the biggest overall aspect of meditation. The main focus of mindfulness is to allow yourself to be present in the moment and not allow other stressors to affect you. Being present and actually living in the moment will allow you to create long lasting memories. When you feel the most stressed do you find yourself not even remembering what you had for breakfast that morning? This is because you are not present. Your brain is not creating long term memories. Why is this important? Well if you have young kids who are going through huge milestones you don’t want to miss a thing! Being present will allow you to fully remember all the details of the amazing and cute things your kids do.
Strong Problem Solving
Having a clear mind through meditation will actually allow your brain to work at its full capacity. If you are clear-headed and not bogged down by unnecessary worries than you can fully access specific situations to the best of your ability. You will be hyper-focused and totally aware of the choices you are about to make.
Through all of these benefits, you really will achieve greater overall happiness. With a clear head and with living in the moment you will be able to focus on your own needs and wants. Not to mention the science behind it. Like previously mentioned, you will have fewer stress hormones pumping and more endorphins which lead to instant happiness!
So How Do You Find The Time?
Short Daily Sessions
The idea that meditation is this long-winded activity that takes hours to achieve in not true at all. You can reap the benefits of meditation even if it’s for five minutes a day. So each day try and take 5 minutes to yourself to clear your mind. Whether this is right when you wake up (before your kids wake up) or at night after your kids go to bed, find five minutes that work for you and commit to it every day.
Long Sessions Weekly
Now that you have mastered five minutes a day it is time to work in some longer meditation time. Allow yourself to take an hour a week. There are 168 hours in a week you can totally take one of those hours to yourself! You can either make this at the end of the week or at the start of your week. Just communicate with your partner that it is their turn to watch the kids for that hour!
10 Second Meditation
Ok so maybe you haven't been able to master one hour let alone 5 minutes, well you can totally handle 10 seconds! Let’s say someone is really hitting your last nerve, before speaking take 10 seconds to just breathe before you lose it! There is such huge power in breathing deeply. Your mood and feelings can change within ten seconds and this is what we are going for!
Find Your Happy Place
One thing to help you get into the zone to meditate is to find a spot in your home that makes you feel calm and happy! Choose one location in your house that brings you joy and tell your family that this is ‘Mommy’s Spot’. Maybe it’s one chair in your house or one room, find somewhere that is just yours and allows your mind to associate meditation to it. Also, it is important to find a happy place that you can go in your mind as well. In those moments where you feel you may inappropriately lose your temper, and using your ten-second mediation, escape to your happy place in your mind while you are counting to ten. Maybe it's a beach or a garden. Just thinking of this space will help ease stress in your mind.
Find a Mantra
This is a really easy thing to do and can have such a huge impact. The power of positive thoughts and words is so immense that it really can change your life. All you have to do is choose a word or two that you can repeat in your head. Have a saying and repeat it in your head over and over again. It can be as simple as “everything’s ok”. Just taking some time to repeat this mantra in your head will calm your thoughts. Your mind may start racing with thoughts such as ‘this is bad’, ‘there’s no way I can figure this out’ so you need to stop those thoughts in their tracks and change it up!
Mediation does not have to seem overwhelming and unattainable. It is not just for yogis anymore! Hopefully, you found a few tips that you can incorporate into your everyday life. Just remember to start small and take a little time out of your day to create a new habit. Day by day you will get better at it and soon it will be second nature!
XO, Social Stepmom