By: Anna de Acosta
The Family Photo Shoot Dilemma - “Ours” Photos
I’m a part-time stepmom, and my stepkids come over every second weekend.
We just had our first “ours” baby, and are scheduled for a professional family photo shoot next week when the stepkids come. I’m excited, and since it’s my first biological child, I want to get photos with only the ‘ours’ baby.
I’m worried my stepkids will feel excluded and don’t want to make anyone feel bad – but I also want the photos that I want. I don’t know if my husband will understand. How do I get what I want without upsetting others?
- Picture Perfect Stepmama
Dear Picture Perfect,
It can be quite the balancing act trying to please everyone – and it’s something we often become good at as stepmoms. But don’t forget that your needs and desires are important too, and you can’t always self-sacrifice or you’ll end up resentful – and that isn’t good for anyone.
If having “ours” photos is important to you, that’s a choice and right you have to make – unapologetically and without having to accept criticism from others. Not everyone will understand your decision, and that’s okay. In addition, if you’re a stepmom who prefers not to have “ours” photos, that’s okay too. You can make the decision that is right for you and your family.
Some tips for the family photo shoot to ease the tension:
- Call the photographer in advance and explain the family dynamic and what photos you’d like.
- Start with group photos with everyone! Afterwards, mix it up with some photos with just your partner and his kids (excluding you), you and your baby, you and your husband plus baby, then just all the kids. Finish off with a family shot again. You can mix it up without excluding others, everyone steps out of the photos at some point, then you all come together again.
If you are relaxed about it and don’t make a big deal, chances are everyone else will be too. Have a great photo shoot!
Anna de Acosta is an intuitive guide, life coach for stepmoms, and creator of the Mindful Stepmom guided meditation series, available on iTunes.
Anna teaches stepmoms to tune into and honor their desires, be mindful of their reactions, and act from an emotionally intelligent place in order to live in peace and be the change they want to see in their blended families.
She shares about her life and experience raising a mixed-culture, blended family of six over at her blog, annadeacosta.com.
Have a question you want answered by Anna? Write in to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Dear Anna”.
This information is intended for entertainment purposes only, not meant to substitute legal, medical, or mental health professional advice
Check out Anna’s website at https://www.annadeacosta.com/
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