Feature Friday – Kristen from Kandy Apple Mama
Hey there! I’m Kristen, a wife, stepmom, and passionate writer, determined to make stepfamily life easier. I joined Kandy Apple Mama with my stepdaughter’s mom in January of 2017, and I’ve never looked back! The clarity I get from writing about my step-situation is unparalleled, and the joy of knowing I’m helping others communicate their feelings and get a sense of comfort and validation when they realize they’re not alone, it’s life-changing.
My stepdaughter’s mom and I weren’t instant best friends—actually, far from it! We didn’t meet until I’d been dating my now-husband for eight months, and even then, she barely acknowledged me. Things escalated for us when she served my husband paperwork to modify the custody and support arrangement. Those were the darkest few months of my life: full of anger, fear, and hurt. And every single one of those negative emotions was directed at her.
Eventually, she and my husband talked and worked out a new agreement together. She and I started really talking after I spent a weekend away doing some real soul-searching and talking with God about my insecurities as his second wife, my doubts as a mother, and my hatred for my stepdaughter’s mom. I gained a lot of clarity that weekend, and my stepdaughter encouraged me to share my journey with her mom.
That was a turning point for us. We started talking more – not just to talk, but to understand. To figure out how to work together for our daughter.