I don't know about you, but I am an avid reader who loves to read personal development books. Especially about topics that can be applied to my blended family life. Last year I read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and I must tell you, it transformed my relationship with my husband! It also helped me to understand what I wanted from other people. It was eye opening to say the least.
Gary Chapman’s message is simple, but extremely powerful. There are 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. After reading the book, I realized that my love language is “Acts of Service”. This is where it gets interesting….. Because my husband performing acts of services for me (ie. Cooking, paying bills, etc.) is what I needed to be happy, I assumed HE needed the same thing. So, I would spend hours cleaning the house, doing his laundry, bringing his kids to their activities, etc. fully expecting this to make him happy. I would be exhausted after doing all those things and he would be irritable. I didn’t get it!
It turned out that his love language is “Quality Time” together. He would always ask me to sit with him on the couch to cuddle for a few minutes or go for a walk, but I always said no because I was too busy doing stuff for him! I was working so hard and it wasn’t doing anything at all to affect his happiness.
Everything has changed since reading this book. I now say no to doing a lot of things and instead sit on the couch with my husband and cuddle. Even a few minutes at a time means so much to him. He doesn’t even care that the house is a mess or that there are piles of laundry to be done!
Have you read The 5 Love Languages? You can take the official assessment online to find out what yours is. Your Love Language profile will explain your primary love language, what it means and how you can use it to connect to others.