Excerpted, with permission, from “The Smart Stepmom: Practical Steps to Help You Thrive”
Dear Dad: She can’t do it without you.
You’ve married an incredible woman. She makes you smile, supports your work, laughs at your jokes and has agreed to help you raise your children. How awesome is that?!
However, her ability to fulfill the role of stepmom
is dependent upon you doing yours.
If you neglect your role, she has no foundation upon which to stand. Stepparenting is a team sport. If you want your marriage to succeed, you must be teammates.
PRINCIPLE 1: Declare Loyalty to Your Wife
Nothing deflates a woman’s heart more swiftly than feeling disposable to her husband. Furthermore, nothing will destroy your home more quickly than communicating a loyalty to your children that is greater than a loyalty to your wife.
This is first in our list because the others are dependent upon this principle. In other words, united you stand. Divided you fall. Declaring loyalty has two aspects:
- Tell your kids. Children need to hear you repeatedly share, throughout their lifetime, that you and your wife will always be together. This is not a statement of preference (your wife more than your children), but a statement of permanence. If your children believe there’s a chance that she won’t be around at some point, their motivation to include her and respect her role in their lives diminishes tremendously.
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