Why Every Good Stepmom (and Even Wicked Ones) Need Butt Sheet Masks

Butt Sheet Masks In Image From | Freepeople

Madonna. Love her, live her. Very few of you reading this can claim that you didn’t in fact sing “Open Your Heart” at the top of your lungs and way off key into your hairbrush back in the 80s. And while the lyrics of all her pop hits are still easy to recall word-for-word (unlike your password you just set AGAIN on FB) and still set the soundtrack to our lives, we have another thing to thank Madonna for…butt sheet masks.

Ok, so she didn’t invent them herself, but (or shall we say “butt) she was the inspiration for a boom in the niche that would set the skincare craze ablaze. Called “butt-masking,” this new trend is taking the world by storm. Have you tried it yet? Well, why not? Everyone is doing it!

Look, it’s not like they’re jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge here. They’re applying masks and sheet masks to their buttocks, and for good reason…to keep that booty looking booty-licious. As bizarre as it sounds, it’s a brilliant concept that moms and stepmoms alike are jumping into because who doesn’t want a smoother, more sculpted, bouncier butt? 

Stepmoms in particular need to let their cares drift away from the bliss of a butt sheet mask that will keep them looking less haggard. Let’s face it…it’s not easy to raise any kid, but especially kids that aren’t your own take a heaping dose of patience. Think of it as a way to preserve your sanity until they go off to college. And then when they do, you can walk around in nothing but your butt sheet mask and uncork your best bottle of wine just because. 

Pampering oneself is self-preservation in a non-selfish form too. Think about it. When you feel sexy all over, that puts you in a better mood, doesn’t it? So when your husband has his kids over for the weekend and you’re so not in the mood to wear your stepmom hat because you have a vile case of PMS and just want to crawl into a Netflix hole with your wine and a box of expensive chocolates, get ready for it by using butt sheet masks.

Let’s not forget what your derriere does to your man too. Keep that butt in bouncy, beautiful, and smooth condition so that you won’t be part of the ex-wives club, if you get our drift. So to recap, butt sheet masks save marriages, keep you from losing it on your stepchildren, and they make your rear end look divine. Again, look at Madonna. She’s 60. 60! And she’s got a butt that won’t quit. If that’s what it takes to look as luscious as she does, sign us up!