Why You Must Put Your Happiness First

The Pursuit of Happiness with The Happy Stepmom - Put YOUR happiness first!

Are you someone who always puts other people first? Do you come in last when it comes to creating happiness? Aren’t you just as important as the ones you love? I want you to make your happiness a priority WITHOUT feeling guilty about it! It’s this simple…..when you take care of yourself first, you are in better shape to help others. If you DON’T do the things that make you happy, you may not be someone that others want to spend time with anyway. When women are unhappy and don’t put themselves first, often times they check out emotionally and miss out on some really good stuff in life!

When I became a new Stepmom, I was so focused on making my stepchildren happy. This is a common trait of new Stepmoms.  We try so hard to fix something that we didn’t break by overdoing it to ensure the happiness of others. This comes at the expense of our own happiness – this can lead to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and resentful. It took me quite a few years to figure out that I needed to shift my focus. My physical and mental health was suffering because I was sacrificing my own needs for those of my stepchildren. I’m ashamed to say that for a time, I focused on my stepchildren more than my own biological children. I wanted them to see me as a bonus Mom, someone that would help them get over the pain of their parent’s divorce. I wanted them to be happy even though they were going through some tough changes.

Today is a different story – I focus on ME. I learned to say no and set some boundaries. I schedule time for myself in my planner. I am much happier because of it, and you know what? The kids aren’t unhappy! They are fine with the time I take for myself.  It didn’t hurt them at all.  It just helped me! A LOT!

Here is my advice to new Stepmoms that are wanting to make everyone in their life happy:


Only you know what’s best for you. Your journey to happiness is different than anyone else.  Spend some time thinking of the things that make you happy.  Is it yoga, quiet time on Sunday’s to read a book, dinner and a movie with your hubby? Take a moment to reflect and write down what you need to nourish your own soul.


Schedule time every day for yourself.  YES, I SAID EVERY DAY. It doesn’t have to be long periods of time each day. Even an hour to go for a walk, read a book or taking a loooong hot shower alone will help you. The days can get away from us.  As women, we are always so busy doing things for our loved ones that the day is over before we realize it. You must be intentional about setting aside time for YOU.

I challenge you to sit down and figure out where you can begin to put yourself first by doing activities that you love. Share your ideas on social media by tagging #thehappystepmom #socialstepmom #imputtingMEfirst

By Aimee Allen

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